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And it all began with a story of one sensitive Gucio, who got lost in his feelings...
This is Gucio.
He’s 7. He’s full of energy. He’s a rascal who constantly gets into trouble. But everyone likes him, cause he’s always laughing and smiling.
This little Gucio doesn’t know yet, that in few years he will be convinced “he shouldn’t be “funny”. He will try to prove to himself and others that he is serious. Trying to fit in social norms, he will get on with an idea of being a “good” kid who is going to do what people close to him expect him to do.
They are the ones close to him. They know what he needs. Do they?
Gucio from the photo, doesn’t know, that he’s going to feel something that is hard to understand and harder to bear because of it He’s going to feel powerless, he will sleep all day. He will loose appetite and became 20kg lighter. He will stop smiling. All of this will happen when he turns 22. Every day, he will stare at the wall, smoking one cigarette after another. He will ask himself the same questions. “What is the point of living”, “Does life has a any meaning”? “What if I ended it all?”
His inner voice know all the answers. “You suck” “ You are the looser.” Your life is a failure”, you can’t do anything and you can’t change it.”
Gucio felt something similar before, but never as strongly. Every time he felt something like this in the past, close ones, made him laugh, kept saying “smile”! Gucio learned this feeling is unwelcome, that he needs to focus his attention on something else and “it” will pass, on its own. In reality he became a master of pushing this feeling away, but never getting rid of it completely. Seven year old Gucio, doesn’t know, that in the toughest moment of his life, when the question “should I take my life away” will become a question of “How do I take my life”, he will get help from his friend. This will be the first time Gucio will encounter the phrase “emotional health”. He knew how to deal with the cut or a bruise, but nobody taught him about emotional condition. He will learn the thing he feels so strongly is called “sadness”.
And that it is a normal human emotion, just like joy, it isn’t bad, or good, it just is. It’s not a stigma, but a valuable information, coming from within. This sadness communicates to Gutek, that his life is different from what he dreamt of and his life story doesn’t match his expectations.
Gucio realizes, living day to day, he didn’t have specific goals – something to look for, dreams to live for.
A purpose.
A meaning.
He was an actor without a script, realizing stories and ideas of others.
Gucio from the picture doesn’t know yet, that by giving a name to the feeling, he may understand he takes responsibility for his happiness or the lack there of. That he is the only one to strive for his fulfilment. Even being in touch with sadness, he still won’t know, what he wants, but he will realize and accept that whatever it is, is different.
He will find motivation, to change things around. The simplicity of this discovery will bring him in touch with a long forgotten life perk – he will be full of energy again.
The next day he will quit his job, that he actually hates and where he spent a couple of years too many.
He decides, he will find his purpose, he dreams of sharing his discovery.
Sadness is OK!
Anger is OK!
Fear of unknown is OK!
Those are merely the symptoms of living and without accepting they exist, we cannot wrap our head around them and outgrow them.
Only a dead person doesn’t feel.
An adventure began- a new life chapter. Many bumps await him on the way, twists and turns and tough decisions, but successes achievement and joy awaited him too.
Today, many years later. Gucio writes this text and his grateful he experienced a deep sorrow, that let him realize something is just no good for him. Thanks to that, he could start living with himself in harmony. Sharing the best he’s got.
Was he depressed? Who knows, I wasn’t brave enough to ask a professional for help. I also don’t know what would happen if not for a fate, to send me a friend, who listened to me patiently in the moments of the deepest despair. At that time I didn’t know, that his physical presence, acceptance of my condition, is called empathy, and empathetic connection is a real tool for helping each others in the toughest moments.
Now Gucio has dream. He dreams that everyone will experience the most empathy possible, to be able to share it, further and further so it becomes a social norm.
We realized this dream by creating a mobile app, enabling access to science of emotions, empathy and compassion. If you like to contribute to the realization of that dream, take a look here: